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What "What's Your Sign?" Means

You are sitting at the bar, babysitting a sip of a shot of Jack Daniels that isn't yours, enjoying your fill of free bar nuts out of the dingy candy dish on the counter, and taking in the people sights of what wall flowering in a public setting can bring you when, to your dismay, a slightly warmer than warm but not quite hot (person of the sex you're attracted to) slides in between you and your astonishing view.

"Hey cutie! What's your sign?" is how they go for the hook but you're not ready to jump on the line quite yet. You raise your hand to them and ask "which sign do you want to know?" which throws them off, raising their eyebrows in confirmation. Sensing the power shift to your control, you begin...

"By sign, I assume you meant 'sun sign', which is the sign the sun was in at the time of my birth. That would be (insert something you would respond with here). But, that's just one of the few that can answer your question. There's also my moon sign, my ascendant sign, my "other" sign if I'm a cusper or not, and we're not even going to get started on the planets and how they played a roll in my houses!" They look befuddled and skootch a little away from you....but you're not finished yet.

"To enlighten your unsurprisingly piqued interest now, the sun sign is like the basic mold or formula used to create a person. It's like a shell that everyone who comes into contact with can observe easier than the other signs. Your sun sign dictates your generalized characteristics that help make you, you. Things like if you're laid back, how organized (or not) you tend to be, if you're assertive or a deep thinker, and other "you" traits." They are looking around the room now and then look down at their watch.

"And it's really cool how each sign has other groups of qualities attached to them! The groupings are shared with a few other signs but it helps make each sign unique. Each sign can be either masculine or feminine, has a element attach to them......*person takes off running in the opposite direction* OR HAS A TERM THAT'S A BROAD QUALITY AMONG THE SIGN!"

You walk back to your seat, not realizing that you crossed the bar during your conversation. All is back to normal in your world as you dig in the bar nuts dish to grab the last 2 out. Exasperated from the interaction, you utter "damn, they were kind of cute, too. Must not have been an air sign, a Virgo, or a Scorpio. Probably for the best..." before yelling "barkeep! I need more nuts!"

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